Rants and Raves: At the Movies

By Peter Gebriel (Former World & U.S. Editor, Former Columnist) [?]

Published: February 2, 2009 and Updated: April 23, 2009
Reprinted From The Windward Bridge

Many different variables can ruin any movie viewing experience with ease: a broken projector, the wrong film in the projector (there was a recent case in which a Utah theater inadvertently switched High School Musical 3 with Sex Drive) and the narcissistic jerk talking on his cell phone. Your “bro” does not have to hear about every single Megan Fox nude scene. And if he does, call him after the movie. However, there is one factor that completely kills all viewing experiences. I cannot stand people who complain, moan, cry, scream, yell, and bellow about people talking while a movie is playing. I can understand why one would worry about others talking while a movie is playing, but please, shut up. Can you honestly not hear the explosion that was just ripped out of eight different speakers at a soothing 30,000,000 decibels when someone asks for the popcorn? Even in movies that feature whispered dialogue, the theater cranks the volume to ridiculous levels. And screaming “shut the @#$% up!” does not help. Not even slightly. Why is talking in a theater so horrible while expensive food, filthy seats, commercials, and $12 tickets are tolerated?

Speaking of movies, here’s a rave. A fantastical film of ingenious proportions was released on the eighth of October and not a single person saw it and few have heard of it. The movie of which I speak with such praise is RocknRolla. It tells a ridiculous and over the top story of British gangsters trying to track down a rock star who has “died” three times. The movie was written and directed by Guy Ritchie who also made Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (OMG BME! Figure it out), Snatch (good), and Revolver (when did Ray Liotta become such a bad actor?). Luckily, RocknRolla is more Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. The movie harkens back to the good old times when a movie could be fun, enjoyable and humorous without trying to make a deep statement on human nature. This gives the film ample room to focus on what makes a movie good: acting. If a production of Hamlet featured a cast of untalented fish men and prepubscents, the deeper meaning of the play would count for nothing. It would be awful. So to grade the movie on an easier scale, think of Juno and then replace Juno with a movie that is good and you will have RocknRolla. As a side note, it also has one of the best chase scenes to appear on film.

Speaking of movies, here’s a rave. A fantastical film of ingenious proportions was released on the eight of October and not a single person has seen it and few have heard of it. The movie of which I speak with such praise is RocknRolla. It tells a ridiculous and over the top story of British gangsters trying to track down a rock star who has “died” three times. The movie was written and directed by Guy Ritchie who also made Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (OMG BME! Figure it out), Snatch (good), and Revolver (when did Ray Liotta become such a bad actor?). Luckily, RocknRolla is more Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. The movie harkens back to the good old times when a movie could be fun, enjoyable and humorous without trying to make a deep statement on human nature. This gives the film ample room to focus on what makes a movie good: acting. If a production of Hamlet featured a cast of untalented fish men and prepubscents, the deeper meaning of the play would count for not. It would be awful. So to grade the movie on an easier scale, think of Juno and then replace Juno with the movie that is good and you will have RocknRolla. As a side note, it also has one of the best chase scenes to appear on film.

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