Bailout 101

By Hunter Owens (Co-Founder, Editor In Chief, Columnist) [?]

Published: December 10, 2008 and Updated: December 25, 2008
Reprinted From The Windward Bridge

To bail out or not to bail out, that is the question. As the nation watches C-SPAN while the Big 3 CEO ask the federal government for money, the free market capitalist side of me wants to let them die. The environmentalist seconds this opinion, saying these companies have done worse things to the environment than the Exxon-Valdez spill. However, the socialist in me says that the economy is doing bad enough already, letís give this struggling companies a hand. So I am unveiling the Hunter Owens Plan for the auto bailout.

Condition one, the automakers must immediately agree to have all cars meet a 50mpg standard by 2012, and be gas free by 2025. The federal government would help subsidize Research and Development of this engine which would help the auto makers compete on the global market and prevent a 70's style collapse of research into environmental friendly cars. Condition two, the car companies need to stop being vertically integrated. This means they should work like computer companies, hiring people to make individual parts (ie engines, transmission, etc.) and have dealers sell every brand of car, similar to Best Buy or Circuit City for technology. Then the only process the car companies would handle themselves would be final assembly. Condition three, the car companies can no longer advertise until they get in the black, the cars should speak for themselves. Four, they must cut down the number of car models they produce a year, there are way too many indistinguishable Detroit cars, which causes corporate bloat. And lastly, they must hire Jonathan Ive, head of Apple design to supervise the design of their cars because, letís face it, Detroit cars are ugly. The federal government should split the thirty Billion dollar bailout between 15 billion in loans under standard interest rates to the federal government, however these loans are not void if the car makers go bankrupt. The other 15 Billion should go into new car company shares; however these will be voting shares, giving the taxpayers a voice inside the car companies. Hopefully, this plan would prevent the loss of a great American industry and thoroughly retune it for the next 100 years.

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